Fu Manchu & The Meaty Mustache

The mighty moustache. One of those subjects that could go on an on and it wouldn’t make a bit of difference in how the world turns. Or would it?

The mustachioed gentleman has the world by the scruff and all the clean cut school boys better look out for the men of the street.

Formidable lip hair has defined the likes of Salvador Dali, The Marlboro Man and every cowboy that’s had a heavy set of six-guns, to musical heavyweights Frank Zappa, GG Allin and both the guitars of Black Sabbath. Men like Mahatma Gandhi, Che Guevera and John Lennon sported looks that even helped change the entire world. Mark Spitz who, in the business of shaving every hair on his body, kept his legendary moustache because he is a bad ass. Even for a swimmer.

The moustache is a powerful phenomenon, a hairy and striking brush of pheremones, a sexy and intimidating caterpillar for women who seek a dangerous man. When soaked in a fine cognac and smooth cigar smoke, the moustache becomes the identity of a man, the first thing to enter a room, an unspoken utterance of aphrodisiac that grabs you by the collar and throws you against the wall to either beat you where you stand or kiss you deeply, depending on who you are. The cliché where every man envies it and every woman wants it isn’t delivered by a sports car or a fancy cologne. It’s brought to you by a heavyweight moustache.

No one misses a face where the moustache outshines the man behind it. There are even times it’s as if the man was hanging on behind it for dear life, dangling from a bristling, brutish sex weapon, barely able to withstand it’s level of punishing attention-getting, it’s like an Amish girl handcuffed to Paris Hilton on a 24-hour party circuit.

It’s the thing of evil twins and sexy villainy.

Even when wet with dirty bourbon and warm pasta, the moustache refuses to be a relic or a dying icon of the past. Even when adorned by those we think to be deplorable, disgusting or just plain ridiculous, the moustache with it’s dual spellings and iconic status will always have a warm spot beneath my nose.