it tastes like nighttime, like a cocktail whose dark wetness clarifies what you utter to whomever is listening. like the wind or a lover whose whisper washes away all you have fought for to get to this place. it is the sunrise over buildings and the easy morning cigarette, the road trip to strange towns and an ice cream cone on a park bench. these pieces of pleasure compose my universe and as long as there are fields to run in, rooms to kiss in, and streets to rage in, these vices will always be the fuel for fun. whether a warm tea between palms or a bottle dressed with a flaming rag, we all share an explosive connection to everything we desire.
This right leg was broken. Tragically and frighteningly broken. Suddenly stricken and laid up for months.
The churning burn in this belly roiled imprisoned to the sound of moans, retches and grunts.
Bone wrapped metal, screwed tightly down like a wild patient, naked in restraints.
No magic in healing, but a rigid regime to never again be a slave to pain.
watched a carrie fisher stage show and the next day she had a heart attack.
wished for nothing except freedom from a weak link in the chain mail. a chained ankle. now resolved for the year. 2016 was supposed to be a victory lap around 2015 but instead became a mad, tortuous exercise in containing rage and conquering flaws. overcoming impulse and enjoying what’s present. stripped of what powered my brightness and left a quiet heap of madness to be sorted through. like an old box or a ransacked house.
Nothing is easy.
Everything is pleasing
and adventure is teasing
but the moments
are so unbelieving
I’m amazed that you’ve stayed
to recognize this feeling.
Nothing is stopping us from leaving.
There is no real rationale or reason
why we brush skin and share passing grins
and escape this place every evening.
Everything is easy.
Finding beauty in darkness
catching love in one’s starkness
reminding us we’re needing
a friend, a lover, laughter feeding
on each other
like how silly boys like bleeding
and how little girls like healing.
Everything is allowing us to remain.
There is no gain in woe or to complain,
alongside we share a glimpse of this life,
navigating this amazingly strange terrain.
This whole planet is nothing but feelings
whether concealing, revealing or stealing.
You be the entertainer, I’ll be the sly conniver.
You be the gun waver, I’ll be the getaway driver.
Bang bang, vroom vroom.
It’s just us in this crowded room.