Rain Of Terror

Inch of rain like an inch a day inching closer to either salvation or damnation depending on what shoes you have on. New boots, bring the big puddles.

Loaded sidearm inch from my face, I’ll run until I know it’s real, then you get all the money, drawer and all. Holidays have some backed against a wall until they come in out of the rain with a gun and a getaway car.

Truly no way for a bartender to start his night, regardless of boots. Truly.

Morals Of A Porn Store Thief

Ever been accused of something you didn’t do? What about a crime? It’s a very humbling and unique experience, one of those things no one understands unless it happens to them. Other items in this category include having a chronically ill child, constantly being judged on your color or gender, and those returning home from military service and being denied health benefits by the government.

I don’t have a sick baby, look like a Caucasian male, and I’ve never been to war. But I have been accused of a crime I didn’t commit.

I used to work in antiques and one day when I was standing outside a salvation army smoking a cigarette a policeman drove up and asked if I could come with him to answer some questions.

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OK Corral 2009

I used to have a beautiful Remington 12 gauge pump and though I (regretfully) got rid of it, I’m beginning to think that maybe some types of firearms in the hands of Americans might not be the most capital of ideas.

There are far too many people shooting each other in the streets, at the office, schoolrooms and playgrounds. Murder after murder, crazy people, sane people, angry, sad, money, no money, if you’re American, have two fingers and a beef, you too can go on a random killing spree because you’re mopey for your girlfriend. Or maybe there’s bullies during recess or you’re upset at your job or how your stocks just plummeted, or maybe you don’t even need a reason and the world just owes you.

Canada has more public firearms per capita than the US but a fraction of the annual killings. What am I missing? What are we as a nation not understanding? Besides fending off bears and wolves, I just don’t get it.

If Japan had the same population as the US they would record about 80 gun murders a year compared to 11,000 in America. In the richest land of liberty, freedom, democracy and golden opportunities on earth, we’re shooting each other just because. Eleven thousand different times a year.

Presently I’m staying in a land of strict gun control and for the first time in my life I’m considering its benefits.

Since I don’t belong to a junta or a paramilitary organization back home, I’m not sure if I need an AR-15 or an 18 round SIG Sauer laying around the house. I can understand using guns when living in a country where revolutions are a way of life or if rampant poverty means having a pistol means you eat, but people who live in America don’t need guns, they just happen to want them. Poverty is a large part of why violent crime is prevalent in America but I’m really starting to believe that we don’t need thousands of guns to prove that we’re not a dictatorship.

While certain class structures dictate lives where firearms are as common as keychains, Americans have no business owning handguns. They don’t know how to handle the responsibility which means the toys should be taken away from the children. If they can’t get along with them, we’ll just put them away until they learn how to behave with one another.

It’s one thing to hunt animals but far too many murders are facilitated by weapons that hunt people.

So if I’m attacked by ducks or pheasants, better believe I’ll rue ever parting with my shotgun.



Remember that little girl in Texas who fell down the well? She probably has kids of her own now, playing out back where no one’s watching them.

Remember that little Colorado beauty queen? Anyone go to jail for that? Tragedy. Do you find it odd that a 6 year old girl is made-up to look like a grown woman (by the same people who probably can’t stand Marilyn Manson)? I’m trying to find a message here but it’s hard to choose just one.

Remember where you were when the first Kenndedy was shot? If you don’t then you probably remember where you were when the first space shuttle exploded.

I’ve heard of these anorexic support forums and I’m trying to decide whether to be for or against them (I then ask myself why I need to take a side). They are places where people with eating disorders can go to share comments, stories, motivation and tips on how to survive with their illnesses. Ok, I just decided I am for it. They should have the same thing for junkies and child pageant queens because god knows we could use all the friends we can get.

Sometimes terrible things bring people together as if it were something wonderful. Sometimes bad things just happen with no reasonable explanation and we go through life trying to bury it and not giving it another thought. Some say these things happen for a reason, often applying god to the equation. I just wonder why sometimes it takes so long to realize what those reasons are, if we find out at all. Or maybe we already know these things and just don’t see it.

I wonder if Jessica McClure ever thinks about these things?

I Need To Start Ripping Off Better Writers

It’s true. Unless you’re Jokin’ Joe Biden.

All art is just one lift after another. We see something we like, we copy and put our name on it. That’s why it’s so nice to read really good writers, I’m just thinking how I can sneak a little of their style into mine with no one the wiser. If I was a painter I’d study the way one guy mixes paint or how one girl holds her brushes. We all learn/steal from each other and that’s what makes being creative so fun. Writers write from their belly and everyone they’ve ever read comes out of that belly in different ways. Someone smart once said, “We are the sum of everyone we meet.” Maybe I should get off the computer and meet more people.

Or maybe I need to start ripping off better philosophers.