Hiding in plain sight, this world shows off its love every day.

I Miss My Dog

Stupid dog. I love you. Dang dog. You were the best.

Dead Mother’s Day

How is there no Dead Father’s Day or Dead Child’s Birthday celebration? Quaint brunch, perhaps? A fat steak dinner or fun day trip to the zoo?

How and when do we nod for such love and loss in the American way?

Or is it every way?

All the cultures, wey?

Helladventure

Can barely convey how wonderfully overwhelming California is.

It’s a lot. Of automobiles, of nature, of vast arrays of culture and absolute humanity. Of destitution, of gross inequity and of murder.

The west coast bubble in which I find myself is exciting and full of color and raucous beauty.

Yes!

Corvus Corax Cordivae Relax

There is no easy way to explain what I know

where the day ebbs away to I will never go.

Sleazy weight is thrown around as stories plant and grow

about a clown on a balcony chasing some Old Crow.

Godmother Of Fitness

Two glasses of Chardonnay and a burger no bun. 90 years old and still vibrating with an air of measured dominance. She drove alone along the Pacific coast to Portland from the middle of Callifornia in a rental car. She came for a memorial. She mentioned when her invite arrived she was surprised that anyone she knew was still alive.

~~~~~~~~~

When she first mentioned her age I ignorantly said “Wow, I’ll bet you’ve seen a lot.”

“I’ve seen it all!” she replied. “I’ve seen World War II.”

My eyes lowered and I pushed a smile toward her.

She had an enormous sparkling diamond ring, while she sat subtly ornate, quick and sharp as if even after death she’ll still be shining whether from the ground or the sky.

I let her know that the bar was going to buy one of her glasses of wine since anyone with 90 years under her belt and who just got off the highway at the very least had a nice Oregon wine coming to them.

She asked to close her tab and I requested her last name for the room charge.

“LaLanne,” she said softly. “Like Jack.”

The moment it struck me that she was Elaine LaLanne I fell in love and fell over dead before a sweet, badass old gal at the bar. In her heyday she was in love with a man who pulled boats with his TEETH.

Lying In Bed Realizing I Forgot Someone’s Iced Tea

While struggling to sleep at night, work dreams have a sordid marathon of demands despite my sweaty attempts to catch up and get out of the weeds.

Late night sandwiches before bed are how these bad nights happen, where no one gets what they want and I can’t find anything I need.

Running around endless restaurant corners and winding through frenetic kitchens just to realize my pursuit is for something I’ve already forgotten hurts my 5-Star feelings.

Instead of searching for the egress in a building of strangers and layabouts, these relentless dreams are reckless in their futility, feckless beyond my ability, seemingly insurmountable but every so often the sun shines on a dog’s ass and delivers a small miracle to a table who shows overt gratitude by leaving an absurd gratuity.

Hospitality nightmares are what builds the bricks of a good staff in a great restaurant.

Thanks, Ladies

Every woman I’ve known has touched my every day behavior in some magnificent way. No relationship goes unnoticed or becomes unimportant. We lose and suffer only to grow in great ways we never thought possible.

Diatribe of Diet and Denial

the cheetos and donuts and fast food, these sticky, shallow vices should be corralled! a slinking, wild animal feeding off children, this star-fallen beast eating at my insides must be caught and flung mightily over a fence. my nutrition allows for abuse in other directions but when the food ceases to be fuel and becomes some insane high in my mouth, is it heaven? only to vanish into the other? ether. neither. mother. lover.

I Need I Wanna Gotta Have Americana

This planet is such a strange little yard, vast and wild, sublime while hard, rock and land unforgiving, sensational among stars of an only child, old son.

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Skin becoming paper mache from motorcycle wind and California sun, birthdays blown up, Junes piling up by May, my brain flows free like how blood runs.

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Right here dialed up on phones in the scrum, eyes faced down, screens tapping thumbs. Learning styles, earning miles, burning money online despite the bodies and guns.

May 23, 2023

California bound airplane from SGN to TPE to SFO was full except for the two beautiful seats next to me. YES!

When I arrived in TPE, I somehow just strolled though security and leisurely walked onto my connecting flight with ZERO waiting. Layover was somehow exactly the same time as the delay. I’ve never experienced timing so perfect.

The TPE to SFO flight has an empty seat between me and this Taiwanese kid leaving home for the first time on his way to the University of MN. His head was constantly exploding. We each had our own armrests for 12 glorious hours.

I wonder if I’ll somehow walk right onto the cheap ECR bus from SFO right to my home in Belmont. We’ll see.

NOPE.