Reality Ain’t Real Enough?

Grindstone. There are people who work and those who don’t. Most work. Few don’t. Some who don’t work now had to work at one time, possibly acquiring enough resource to not have to work any longer. Most of us, though, work. Every day. T0 stay alive. Strange, having to work to stay alive. Like sprinting through the jungle daily after a dinner boar. Like plowing a field from dawn to twilight, or being a factory hand on 12 hour shifts alongside those who’ve lost fingers or most of their pensions.

I must be one lazy ess oh bee.

‘Cause I’m just sitting watching bad TV.

Instead of out looking for a jay oh bee.

So they’re going to make a pirate-hunter reality show? The waters off Africa will be the new battleground for ratings and armchair commandos as the internet forums will fill up with camo-flag waving netizens proposing battleplans and strategies. Sweet. There’s a cougar reality show? I can only pray it’s like this, proving once again that life only gets better as it goes. America truly is a melting pot because as soon as someone thinks of a way to make something more edgy, more hip, more digusting and shockingly fascinating, it eventually implodes under it’s own pressure to perform, never to be heard from again. But until then…

Prison shows are pretty strange, some of the convicts interviewed enjoy a little attention and celebrity while wistfully commenting on their life sentences and what their tattoos mean.  A whole society behind bars, a mindset much different than those who drive Subarus and Volvos. Louie the Fly from the Satanic Brotherhood in cell block C lives quite a different life from Ann in San Diego scrabbling up the corporate ladder or Henry in Scranton who sells things like vacuum cleaners and encyclopedias.

Ego-whore housewives of the disgustingly privleged, see who can lose the most weight where contestants who fail are paraded across the stage to have pies thrown at them, there’s even a show that follows repo men around so we can see the reaction of deadbeats and the penniless as they have their belongings repossessed while being taped for a television audience. The moral of every episode: “pay your bills.” Thanks for the insight.

I’m waiting for the show that follows around corporate executives so we can see them shut down entire production plants and laugh all the way to the Mexican cartels. Or maybe have a television crew can follow Joe into the manager’s office and we can all watch his eyes as he’s laid off. Then pan to the boss whose remorse is no doubt gleaned from a great make-up job and clever lighting. No shortage of subjects there, why not show grade schoolers grappling with the fact they need to pack up their toys becuase they’re being evicted since both parents lost their jobs? We could call it “You’re Fired!” or “The Young and The Homeless”.

My nation of rabid, morbid voyeurs, vicarious tragedy is how we sleep at night, assured of a better life than the one we just watched break down. Admittedly, I’m guilty of pleasuring myself with the televised trainwrecks of America and I’ll happily use the TV Guide or People magazine to wipe my belly. Of Dorito crumbs, of course.