The advent of autumn has brought upon a wonderful little retrospective that’s been percolating in my dark little brain for a while now…
This summer has been one of the most astoundingly hot seasons I can remember. Drenched in sunshine for months on end, a beauty and brightness I can hardly imagine to be equalled in the years to come. Perfect for river trips and motorbike rides, 2015’s heated summer has been fabulous for wild adventure in strange towns, searching the earth for a river or a lake or merely lying around the house with the windows swung wide open like French doors or a French
Strangely though, more tears have been shed down these cheeks this year than they ever have in the last 20 combined.
More tears of venom and salt have bled down these cheeks this summer than I care to remember, like a child’s tantrum or a frantic tween, I’ve wept on sidewalks, in cafes, on park benches, in locker rooms, hallways and bathrooms in almost any type of building you can think of. Drained my world and soul into strange sinks, onto shoulders and into dirty bandanas, drenched this little city with enough sorrow measured for a year.
I hold onto the fact that friends come and go. Gripping the idea with strong, stiff, sore fingers like a vise, hanging on with blind passion and naive rage, a relentless little monkey unwitting but unwilling to surrender the belief that the beauty in everyone deserves to be realized. Eventually.
People arrive onto scenes sometimes like wildfire or sometimes quietly out of the woodwork. Acquaintances regardless of how amorous or not, take on all shapes and roles, ever-changing sometimes to benefit, sometimes to destroy, sometimes to feed and enlighten and sometimes to teach and…DESTROY.
Them’s just people. That’s what we people do.
Relationships can quickly disintegrate into the past like lost pets, weird jobs and memorable apartments.
This past summer I lost friends to lovers, nearly lost friends to death, and lost my lover before I even knew she left. Found reasons why I’m like no other and discovered lovers in the midst of madness, on the edge of a gasp or deep in breath.
New leaves turn like corners, new roads somehow found, left pain of the past in the mirror just to get off the ground. Unrepentant, unrelenting venting is my sound, love and rage and lost in laughter, elements forever bound.
Bring the fall!
All us Northwesterners know that after such a scathing summer it’s high time for some hard rain.