XSA (Exes Anonymous)

Why are there no 12 step programs for broken hearts? Why are there no support groups for those who have discovered their men cheating or for those who love sideways women?

I need a sponsor!

What if I get a call from a lover who will hurt me? What do I do? Watch the phone ring? Answer? Take a screen shot so I can look at it later and wonder why she’s on the other end of the line? And then wonder why I didn’t pick up? What do I do if I’m compelled to call an ex-girlfriend or if can’t help but stalk my ex-boyfriend?

If I had a sponsor I’d call them every time I had the urge to reach out or answer that dark telephone.

I’m going to start an organization that’s dedicated to those who have been hurt or otherwise done wrong by those they loved. We’re going to sit around and smoke cigarettes and drink cheap coffee and tell horrible stories that will make our own experience either seem silly and trivial or it will make our personal hell rival things you’ve only heard about either on bad television or in the bible.

We’ll gather in churches and VFW’s, sitting in circles sharing our damage and tragedies while bonding and banding together, kindred and beautiful, tied together by betrayal and infidelity, solid in our desire to grow and driven by our solidarity to heal.

We realize that our collective strength allows us to take the high road above those who have burned us. Taking our shared experiences and lining them up like the front lines of infantry against what tries to destroy us.

There’s groups for every addiction ever conceived except the one that nearly EVERYONE has experienced: heartbreak.

Heartbreak. When what you believed to be something untouchable becomes fondled or distorted, when what seemed to be indestructible crumbles by someone’s actions or by the hand of nature, when what you believed to be true and beautiful turns into something soiled and worthless.

Heartbreak. When the pain in your chest is real, like someone is stepping on your neck while you’re just trying to get through the day, when every thought in your head is about your love that is now no longer your love…for whatever reason. When it permeates every fiber of your flesh and marrow, when it dictates your dreams and destroys your reality…heartbreak ain’t no joke. It’s thrown people off deadly ledges, driven them to dire, violent destruction (yet has inspired the most beautiful of art, music and poetry…) Weird.

Exes Anonymous. Please. For the sake of your sanity and our safety. Come visit. You don’t have to share, you just have to show up. We’ll be there, stinky with bad drip and cigarettes but ready to embrace. Pathetic yet empathetic, shaking hands and shaking our heads, weeping while stories are exhumed from devastated spirits, fighting the urge to lash out or stalk our XSO’s, talking each other down from ledges of rash and emotional destructive decisions…

Exes Anonymous. We’re Here For You Because We’re Barely Here For Ourselves. Rarely Here For Ourselves.

XSA. One Day At A Time.

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