Mean Gasoline

Years ago I committed a dastardly deed towards a childhood friend in regards to his better half. It was regrettable at the time and even to this day I have never truly forgiven myself for destroying a relationship with my friend that should have lasted forever.

This past fortnight has been a brutal awakening to the fact that life can deliver triumph or retribution at any time, in any setting with any character in your life. Since I am now paying a debt that has me on my knees, the only consolation is that now my slate is clean. Relatively.

I’m absolved from all culpability in regards to disingenuous decisions. My karma has arrived 10 years later. I’m now golden. Free from all past indiscretions, I am paying retribution for my stupidity from the past.

I released the bird to live free, true and reckless and taught her more about herself than she’ll ever realize. My influence knows no bounds and I have no reason to waste time feeling sorry for myself for her having immediately turned to one of my … for a new relationship.

At the risk of losing sense and confidence, I must remember: I am cool. I am sharp. I have good friends. I am decent looking. I run with beautiful women. I make enough money. I have a great apartment. An amazing dog. I have cool stuff. I am one of the funniest and smartest people I know. Most importantly, I have fun.

I will heal. My broken soul will mend like a broken bone, stronger than ever before and soon ready to be swung like a weapon.

Now using photography and words to burn the mean gasoline that is my broken trust and devastated spirit. Tears are now lubricant for my smart mouth. Sleepless nights are now time alone to perfect a craft. Loneliness is clarity. Open spaces to recline, develop, savor, study and enjoy.

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