Little Doggy, Big Meal

Dear apartment manager: I’ve decided that it would be best that I move next month due to the fact that too many tenants constantly let their little dogs run loose off-leash all over the building and its property. My pet is a dog that is naturally wired to chase small, furry things that resemble rodents that fit in purses and the like. Since the leash rule here isn’t apparently enforced, it’s just a matter of time until my little precious devours some woman’s jittery yippy ornament as if it were a squirrel wrapped in a milk bone with a bow on it. It’d be best if we’d left, yes?

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