Love at first sight? Marriage at second glance? Third time’s a charm?
Attorneys are hired to divide the property with a miserable schedule of doling out monies for months until it’s finalized and the bitter moment realizing that forgiveness means not condoning what has been done but abandoning the right for vengeance by the same coin. Bishop Tutu said that last part. I say the whole things smacks of doom and it scares me to death.
I’ve grown up a lot since the days of fleeting girlfriends and unknown phone numbers scrawled on palms and I’ve noticed that as I grow, more people I know are now married. Well, actually, divorced.
Of course, the question isn’t whether or not their marriages were impetuous or carefully considered, ill conceived or perfectly planned. It is, rather, about whether or not those elements have anything to do with why very few people last more than 3 years in holy matrimony. Wonder if we’ll ever know.
Nearly everyone I know to be married has eventually divorced. The exceptions however, are glorious and I’m envious of their ability to overcome and persevere through whatever turmoil that may rise between them so they can enjoy the best things about life together.
It’s become a running tally on when happiness is truly found between two human beings and apparently it’s around marriage #3.
Most of us reach a point in life where we start feeling the need to fall into a mold, a plan or template of some “big picture”. And isn’t it curious that such a desire usually develops when things are going just fine? There is hardly a need to take a relationship to the next level when belongings are being dropped from a second story window or when telephones are being thrown against walls. No one wants to “grow as a couple” or “plan for the future” when fidelity, sexual acumen or financial viability is being questioned.
Only when things are peachy is when the relationship gets retooled. I’ve always been taught not to fix things when things aren’t broken. Primarily because I’m far better at breaking than fixing so when things are running smooth, I’ve no business monkeying around. Maintenance, on the other hand, is something integral to anything or anyone that you wish to amicably coexist with so upgrading the level of a relationship isn’t always such a bad idea. Especially when subconsciously following your peers. But for me none of it sounds quite right. Keeping up with weddings and baby showers is something best left up to those with ambitious social lives. Ambition I’m afraid I don’t possess.
Once again, I’m on the fence about something I know nothing about yet as I write this the answers I seek are surely before me.