Comics, Politics, Kneecaps

It took about a half second to realize my patella suddenly snapped over to the side of my leg and then crunched back in place as I drew back to kick a soccer ball. Dislocated my kneecap while bending it like Ronaldo and the mad game of soccer should be left to children and athletes.

Has the whole world gone completely off the deep end? Is there an anti-fertility drug that would prevent certain citizens from reproducing another generation of mongoloid offspring that still believe life didn’t start until Adam met Eve? How do they explain dinosaurs? Ask Bill.

What’s that you say? The word “mongoloid” is offensive? “Mulatto, Oriental, Christmas” is now “Mixed, Asian, and “Non Religious Celebration of the Winter Solstice”. Ask George about all that.

I don’t know a darn thing about relationships and know less about women but I’m pretty confident that marriage may be one of the 7 gates of hell. I’ll have to get back to that one later though Sam has some ideas worth hearing.

Is there any more of a cliche personality than the philandering politician? South Carolina guvy is worldwide in his exploits, about time someone took it to the international level of adultery. Is the Chandra Levy case solved yet? Back east politicians tend to do more openly wretched and violent things to their interns and staffers. Here in the great Northwest we have lovers, like the Idaho toilet creep who toe-tapped men beneath lavatory stalls, or my own hometown favorite, senator Bob “Gimmie some whiskey and sit on my lap” Packwood. Ol’ Bob had 26 women in line to testify against him and his grotesque libido. Usually if one person complains about something that means at least 10 more people felt the same way but didn’t say anything. That’s a lot of pantsuits and tweed skirts to roam for Mr. Packwood.

Oregon also boasts one Neil “I bought you a Snoopy Sno-Cone machine so sit on my lap” Goldschmidt who rose the ranks of local politics all the way to governor and had already finished his term before his affair with a 14 year old during his stint as mayor in the 1970’s was broke. You’re mayor of a city and all you can woo is a teenager? If I had the word “mayor” stamped on my stationary I would have at least swooped someone who could cast a vote for me.

Today they are pushing for a recall for the present Portland mayor who, when on the campaign trail fooled around with a barely 18 year old man while being in his 40’s. More fodder for the miniature minds attached to mouths belching “moral outrage.”

I hope we all agree that fooling around will always be better than missing women and bodies in the river.

My knee is swollen mush and thank goodness for dead comics and the cads of NW politics.


4 responses to “Comics, Politics, Kneecaps

  1. I’m confused as to how I should feel about Mayor Adams…

    I mean, Bo was a lot closer to an appropriate age than that girl Goldshmidt tried to diddle. But, does that make him less of a perv?

    On the other hand….

    If we oust Sam, he can get back to making that yummy beer.

    I don’t know, tough moral decisions.

  2. Hmmm.

    Who did he make beer for?

    Haven’t heard that yet. Maybe I should look into it.

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