I Love Cheese

The only people who don’t love cheese are people who can’t eat it. Or won’t eat it because it’s the dairyful drippings of a living, breathing animal. I’m a living breathing animal and I say cheese is good.

But not for me anymore.

I used to drink cheese. Like a savory and salty beverage, fondue was a cocktail before the meal. Of all the product slogans in the world, few are as timeless and truer than “Everything tastes better with cheese.” It really is. Better and more better, until you realize that pasta or burgers or pizza or a sandwich are naked and homely until draped in luxurious cheese.

Dairy as a whole was part of my daily diet before I left the country but once I returned my body’s biology has changed to a point where when I eat anything from the dairy section of the store I feel ill. I left a cheese hoarding pigface and came home lactose intolerant.

My affinity for milk and cheese will never abate but it’s time to realize that faux-gurt and soy cheese may not be as hilarious as I once thought. The science of foods, however advanced with good intention will forever struggle to find an item that tastes as good as something that comes from a tit.

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2 responses to “I Love Cheese

  1. Noooooo! Don’t lose cheese! You know about Lact-Aid, right? Little pill with that enzyme you’re missing now. Not perfect, but good enough to get some swiss back on your ham sandwich!

  2. Good doctor, you may be on to something. I’ll be looking into it because I am feeling like I’ve got exceptionally low blood-cheese.

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