76 Quetzals of Unleaded, Please

The whole thing about immigrants coming to America stealing jobs makes me slightly nuts. By nuts I mean greatly saddened and hysterically insane. Them “immigints” are stealing those highly coveted lawnmowing, slaughterhouse and fast food jobs, the same jobs white Americans somehow think are beneath them, the same jobs that are also segregating our society more than I’d like to admit.

Didn’t I learn (in 3rd grade) that America was discovered by Spanish (funded) explorers, founded by English immigrants and was a haven for those escaping living conditions that warranted a dream of a “better life”? And they say the education system is flawed, well I think not.

People just don’t remember anything that doesn’t have french fries, scandal or celebrity tits hanging off it. Wait until everyone who owns an independent convenient store or gas station or nail salon or rib joint is a non-white American. You just wait. Oh wait…

Native Americans lost every one of their jobs and that should be a lesson to us all. But their new cash crop is the money from middle white trash who are sheared like sheep at their sacred casinos. I didn’t see that coming, either. God knows I’ve sacrificed plenty of my earnings on such hallowed ground.

So are foreign countries to blame when American factory and manufacturing jobs go south or overseas? Who’s responsible for baristas and record store clerks weilding masters degrees? Guatemalans? Probably not. Democrats? Possibly partly. I blame Ross Perot for not sticking to his six-guns.

Americans are quickly becoming destitute like those who are receiving jobs delivered to their borders. Mysteriously, despite how foreign workers reportedly get paid in dirt clods and old shoes or barely have any worker rights, everytime I put on my Kenneth Coles or call customer support because my Dell’s belly up, I feel like I’m traveling to only the beautiful parts of the world.

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