Mickey Rourke’s Face

mickey-rourke-surgery1  What is going on with Mickey Rourke? Is he not one of the perennial cool/scuzzy/sexy/scumbag badasses in all of Hollywood? My man Mickey is looking a lot different lately, and looking stranger and stranger with each passing film. What is going on? Why must many of the great faces and bodies of treasured American entertainment undergo procedures that render them puffy, wind-tunneled, squinty tragedies with feet?

I won’t even get into Kenny Rogers or any other plastic surgery apocalypse seeping out of the Hollywood Hills.

Cosmetic surgery is a godsend for those born with deformities or those accidentally disfigured. Ain’t it odd how people whose entire careers and million dollar empires which are founded on their appearance eventually resort to surgeries that make them look like a kid with a genetic malformation?

Being addicted to facelifts and injections, suctions and tucks is the greatest plague to sweep the wealthy in a long time. Not unlike tattoos, piercings, and any other body modifications, elective cosmetic surgery can lead to just more and more until the skin runs out. Though it is a wonderful way to differentiate yourself from the rest of the pack because nobody wants to move to Florida with a turkey waddle beneath their neck and underarm meat flaps. Or show up at the hot little nightspot not sporting a pair of disproportionate saline bombs and Mick Jagger lips.

What if the economy was linked to how much a celebrity’s face droops? Withered and saggy = Bear market. Strong and tight = Bust out the bubbly.

Like a jailhouse tat or any home-jobby piercing, cosmetic surgery should start at home. Then maybe a small botch will deter those who would be spending enormous amounts of money on procedures that will only lead to them being mocked and pitied. But what about people’s freedom of choice, you ask? Don’t they have the right to spend their money on what they want, looking how they want to look?

I suppose you have a point, smart reader.

Maybe I’m jealous because they have loads of money sitting in an “I’m-looking-like-a-shoe-time-for-some-surgery” fund and I’m stuck with the way I look. Forever. Unless I have one of my buddies help me get that permanent smirk I’ve always wanted. Pope of Greenwich Village style.


18 responses to “Mickey Rourke’s Face

  1. He’s in this new movie playing a wrestler so I don’t know what the cane is about. Yeah, he’s cool, just a lot rougher is all.

  2. There’s a lot to be said for growing old gracefully as opposed to ‘fighting it every step of the way’, Cybil Sheppard. I’m pretty sure that being human means we have two options: we can look outwardly less beautiful than we once were, with OR without surgery. Except with surgery (for me at least) people not only LOOK less beautiful outside they somehow seem less beautiful inside.

  3. Laure, I would agree with you. I guess its because a lot of their true character is shown by what they do to themselves.

    Sharone, is the movie out yet?

  4. I heard it was amazing, then I saw him on the Golden Globes and he looked like a rock star. He’s almost become a caricature of himself now and since he’s beloved, it all works out. Hooray.

  5. “…with a turkey waddle beneath their neck and underarm meat flaps.”

    I think good writing is marked by interesting content and the occasional surprise wording of a phrase. “flaps” is perfect.

  6. Anybody who does some basic research can find the truth why Mickey Rourke had to undergo plastic surgery. He was a professional boxer before his acting career, and then later in the middle of his acting career he decided to go back to boxing.

    In his fights he suffered many facial injuries (broken nose, cheekbone, etc).

    He went through “reconstructive surgery” and he claims he went to the wrong guy who made a mess.

    Just google his story and you will find out.

  7. Doesn’t anyone know that the reason Mickey Rourke has had so much plastic surgery done is that he was a boxer?? He has had so many injuries to his face that he had to have several surgeries. I’m surprised no one knew that.

  8. One will always wonder what punched Mickey harder, boxers or the drugs, alcohol and depression. One will also wonder, would you relegate yourself to looking like Mickey looks now, if you could continue to bed actresses like Evan Rachel Wood?

    Poor Mickey??

    I think not!

    Fight on Mickey, fight on…..

  9. to open a dead thread, He had plastic surgery because when he went back to boxing in the early 1990’s he suppered from a variety of injuries(a compressed cheekbone being the worst of them) that left his facial features disfigured. When he went to have his surgery the person he went to apparently did a terrible job and he was left scarred for life in a different manor. So it is rather ignorant of you to use him as an example in this context because his surgery was necessary albeit unfortunately done.

    Next time to make a thread be sure to actually search for the answers. There is this thing called google and it is quite friendly.

  10. For starters, Mr Judgement, I’d spread for that raunchy,vile mug quicker then Nutella on toasted bread! So back the fuck off of rourke he’s far more sexier now then ever before. And besides, I’m all about dirty, sleazy dogs but, you know that all to well, don’t you Mr Cooprider!

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